~Capturing the Magic~

I've discovered that each night around this time I have just a little space of time to myself.  The kitchen is clean, the soft humming of the dishwasher usually providing a pleasant rhythm in the background.  Both boys are in bed, although the oldest may not yet be asleep as I sometimes hear shouts and giggles echoing through the foyer. Rudy is out practicing his golf swing, longing for the warm days when he can go put his practice into play.  Jack and Lola are faithfully laying at my feet, trying to soak up some of the heat from the gas fireplace I'm just not ready to give up yet (maybe the only thing about winter I'm not ready to give up).

I could be using this time to run, but I find running at night daunting, especially after a day that started over 14 hours ago, and my goal is to now tackle that first thing in the morning, we will see how pleasantly I greet 4 am. I could be using the time to decorate our new house, but I must recognize this is a process, one that took me almost three years to complete in our house a third the size of this one.  Hopefully that does not mean it will take nine years for me to love this house like I did our little house.  One thing I was decent at in the little house was carving out time to record our memories over here in our blog, something I just haven't done so well since we have relocated.

That being said, I'm going to try again.  Something I have said several times, but keep contemplating. Yesterday I came back to my blog, and I loved reading the little things about my boys, particularly Rowen, that I had remembered to capture here. Because more often than not, these fleeting moments in their lives escape my day to day memories, and I want to hold onto these little pieces of magic forever.  And for now, this is the place I choose to hold them.

I want to remember the way the bond between my little boys is growing, each and every day.  How sometimes they can be fighting over the same toy, hollering at the tops of their lungs, and in the next moment Rowen is placing a kiss on the top of his little brother's head.  Or the way our wild spirited  Finny runs and hides when you say its bedtime, but once caught lays on your chest offering a curled hand wave and nigh-nigh all the way up the stairs as he clutches his many gators to his chest. How they both get way too excited for Pizza.  How we have dance parties to classical renditions of pop songs and Disney music multiple times a day. Or how Rudy and I lament almost daily at how quickly time is passing as we watch more and more of the toddler-ness shed from Rowen, the kindest, sweetest little almost three year old we have ever loved.

These memories are small but precious, and ones like these will hopefully span my lifetime.  I'm planning to come back to my space more often in the quiet time I have found.  Remembering, and recording these memories is more important to me than I realized. And hopefully one day when I look back, I will of captured the magic that is our ordinary wonderful little life.

Squirt Toys and Big Boy Smiles

A little over two weeks ago, maternity leave ended, and I went back to work.  Our 'new normal' routine hasn't been entirely figured out just yet, and will hopefully get a little easier this week since Rudy returned to his job, but for now the days are long.  I wouldn't describe them as hard days, but they are long, and between dinners, bottles, baths, and trying to keep our house from looking like a tornado flew threw it, we haven't entirely figured out when we are supposed to breath.  I know once the dust settles things will seem easy again, we will have our routine, and all of the upheaval of the last few weeks will be the norm.  But for now, its tiring.

More often than not in the last week I have been wishing time away.  When we get home I'm wishing it was bedtime for the boys, and bedtime for me.  When  I wake up, I wish the day was already done. 0At the beginning of the week I'm wishing it was Friday. And on Sunday I start wishing the whole week away again to get to Friday.  

But while I'm busy wishing time away, my boys are growing, they are changing, and in the busy hubble bubble of the day, I'm missing their time.  Last night I sat down on the floor with my camera while giving Rowen a bath.  I couldn't recall the last time I took pictures of him while he was playing in the tub, and felt that I needed these pictures of this moment.

And as I was snapping away, peaking here and there through my camera roll while Row was busy directing his orchestra of squirt toys, I realized just how much he is changing.  His smiles, his eyes, the shape of his face, its all changing.  This sweet little baby that made me a mother is quickly becoming a big boy, and if I don't stop and enjoy little moments like this, I might miss the joy and excitement of my almost two year old sweetheart.   

When Rudy and I are old and these little boys that are cluttering my house with dump trucks and trains are gone and grown, I don't want my memories to be filled by how long the days were, but instead filled by images of laughter, love, and sweet little boys with squirt toys in the tub.  

~Rowen Right Now~

Dear Rowen,

Time for another post about you.  Your personality changes so fast right now, and I want to make sure I write down all of your little funny quirks before I forget them.  Here goes:

1. You love green beans and blueberries, and will even eat beets.  You dislike cheese.  On some days I wonder if you are my child, but you eat an amazing variety of food and hopefully this will continue as you grow.

2. You love to help feed the dogs.  After dinner I will tell you its time to feed the dog and you come and fetch the two bowls and carry them to the dog food.  You love Jack and Lola, and they love you too.  They have been very tolerant of the hours spent with you jumping and lunging on them.

3. You are a child of routine.  After dinner we play for a bit, take a bath, put on pjs, brush your teeth, read your books, and put you to bed.  While we have tried to read you a variety of books, you only want to read two books, Little Blue Truck and Its Time to Sleep My Love.  Same books, every night.  After we finish reading you happily hop off the couch and run down the hall to your room and climb into bed.  Usually you are tired, but you get so excited about going to bed that it winds you up a bit and you end up babbling for a bit before you fall to sleep.

4.  We are brainwashing you into loving Disney characters, and first on the list is Mickey.  Your favorite song is the Hot Dog song from Mickey's Clubhouse, and whenever it comes on you start to dance.  We try to listen to it in the morning right before I drop you off for the day.

5. You can not keep your shoes on.  It is a guarantee that if we put you in the car with two shoes on, when we go to get you out, you will only have one shoe on.  You think wearing shoes is a game.

6.  You would rather blow a kiss over waving good bye.  This has resulted in many trips down the hall of your school with you blowing kisses to all of the misses you see. And they love it.  I think we may have a flirt on our hands.

7.  You are starting to talk, which I discussed here.

8.  Every time I go to the bathroom you think its time to brush your teeth, and if I don't let you in you whine at the door.

9.  You love dump trucks.  One of the main characters in Little Blue Truck is a dump truck and that may be your favorite part of the book.  We picked you up your own yellow dump truck just the other day, and right now it is definitely your favorite toy.

10.  You have slept out of your crib for almost two months at this point.  We didn't have the toddler rail for your bed, but you have only fallen out once (onto soft pillows).  And because you take your nap on a cot a school, you know not to get out of bed until we come get you.  On the very rare occasions that you have decided to be bold, you always quickly scurry back onto your bed like we didn't see you get out.

When I look at pictures of you, its amazing how much you change just between weeks.  Your daddy and I love how much of a big boy you are coming, but we still miss our little baby some times.  You are the sweetest happiest little guy I have ever met (yes I'm biased, I'm your mother I'm supposed to be) and we are so happy and proud to be your parents.  Love you Row Row.