When I grow up...

I want to be a what?  Well that is the question.  Now I realize I am long past the phase of dreaming of what I will be when I grow up, but I think my current situation has allowed me to sort of put off what I want to be, or rather do with the rest of my life.  There are a few facts that I know to be true.

  1.  I need to work, both for myself and for the lifestyle to which we are accustomed.  That may sound selfish but we live by the work hard play hard motto in this family and I would like to continue to do that.  And while there is nothing more I would like to do then spend all of my time with Rowen, right now and possibly never will that be the best option for us.  As long as he is happy and thriving I am comfortable with our current plan.

2.  I could continue to do what I do now for the next 17 years and have one retirement at 42 years old.  That sounds nice, but far away, and it always brings me back to the question of is this what I want to do.

3.  I have two years left of 'payment' and then I am free.  The next two years are all I owe, and after that I stay of my own free will.  This might be why I feel such a need to figure the next step out.

4.  I want to do what can keep us where we are the longest.  Right now we are in a good place, we have a nice house, Rudy has been blessed with a great job, and I have my work.  Although we aren't looking to stay in this house forever, we do talk about building a home and to do that we would need to stay somewhere.  It might not be a possibility in my career so that may put me at a crossroads down the line.  I don't want my children growing up in multiple different places, I want them to have a town, school, community, etc. where they feel as if they are part of something.

I know this post doesn't really make much sense, but these are some of the thoughts that go through my head everyday on my lone drives to and from work.  Maybe someday soon I will figure out what exactly it is I want to be when I grow up but for right now I am ok not having figured that out just yet.